Shoot me.

Never mind.


BLOGGING FOR WHAT'S RIGHT!
January 28, 2008

Mas Tao Sila.

This Ateneo immersion thing really does what it's supposed to do. I'll come away from CRADLE having learned that no, you really can't tell what a person is like by how he looks.

I also learned that there are people in this world and in this country who steal because they have no choice. Not stealing means that your "wife" will die from the seven abortion pills she was made to take. Not stealing means you can't go home to your family. Not stealing means your best friend dies of a gunshot wound.

I also learned that Sir Z's talk of social injustice is not just hot air. The children I met were victims more than anything.

I also realized that I was a real ass for saying that if the Philippines had winter it would solve all our problems by eradicating the poor and homeless.

I know that if I read these things before I would discard them as soon as I read them. Reading about these people never made a difference for me because I never cared. On the rare occasions where I tried to think as if I were in their situation, I did realize that I'd probably do the same thing, but then I would just tell myself that I'm not in their situation and move on. If my past self were to read this blog entry, he would call me a fool.



It's not as if I've changed much. I've just seen more things and listened to more stories. Thes are real stories that haven't been through the media I distrust. They were alsoe told by children.
The oldest was 19 and the youngest 16, but when the discussion was serious they thought and spoke with maturity and depth I can only achieve with effort. The sentence "Mas tao sila." said by Cels during the reflection rang so true to me that it shocked me how much sympathy I felt. "Mas tao sila." is true. During the Group Dynamics I sat there listening while they talked about life "sa loob" and their families and loved ones "sa labas". They sang songs about desperation and forgiveness and friendship and love. They talked about the different treatments of the rich and poor. If we started discussing Final Fantasy XII maybe I could have said something. However, we were talking about real life so I could only ask questions and nod.

"Mas tao sila." is something I would vehemently oppose before immersion. I've lived longer than them. I have experiences too. I've been to school. I think a lot. After immersion I realize that I've never been desperate. I've had a job but I've never had to work. When I talk about school I use the word "survive" incorrectly. I have a good family. I have a good girlfriend. In the past I've used these things to differentiate myself from the juvenile delinquents I read about in the news as much as possible. Now these things in contrast with the kids' stories make their experiences even more vivid. Mas tao nga sila.

The apathy is melted now, but I don't know how long it will last. Right now I'm reflecting on how "going back to daily life" means very different things for these kids and myself. They go back to their cell and worry about their cases. I will again slowly kill myself with fast food and late nights playing computer games.

Changing something is very hard for someone who doesn't need change. Changing society seems too hard, and changing oneself never lasts. What a predicament. Maybe I have to content myself with the awareness that I've gained after all this. These kids were so grown up I couldn't help but grow up a little bit myself. I find myself caring a little bit more and thinking a little bit more. My priorities have shifted a little bit. Undoubtedly the other Ateneans experienced the same. Little by little is the way to go, I guess. Gradually changing people might one day change the world. I cringe as I type these words, but they're getting typed. And in a new way I'm...


BLOGGING FOR WHAT'S RIGHT!
January 13, 11:40 pm