I would like to be emo
Emo, I have gathered, is not something you become. It's something you simply are. Like being Jamaican. Everybody wants to be Jamaican. Not everybody wants to be emo. But I do; if only for a little while. Emo-ness seems cool.
Well some wiggers certainly look and act and seem like Jamaicans (except for the white part). They have the walk, the music, the accent... for all practical purposes they have turned themselves Jamaican. Since emo is not a race, I should be able to turn myself into a cool emo man with less effort. But I can't. I try to be angry at the world and complain about everything. I try to have my feelings hurt. I try to feel desperation in my alone-ness. I even try to hate the meaninglessness of life. I look for the suicidal, self-hurting spark in me that would make me emo. I try, I try... but to no avail.
Why, then, can I not become emo? Is it my zest for life and my refusal to give up hope? My love for other people and my need to communicate, reach out, and be reached out to? Bah. I don't have any of that. Should I not, then, be a prime candidate for emo?
Much reflection has gone into this thought. It seems to me that the reason I can't be emo is because I don't want the things that emo people want. They want social recognition and companionship and they're angry because they don't get it. I don't really care much for either. They want to be different. I say everybody's the same nobody anyway and the context for the different-ness that they strive for is insignificant. They were raised to be happy in the meaning of life and now are angry to find that the meaning was a fairytale. I saw through the whole thing. They WANT life to have a meaning. Me, not really. The thing is... emo people care that they don't care and whether or not other people care. I don't even care if that last sentence made sense.
See, an emo person right now might go "Bloody fracker blogging around judging emo people".
I'm just a lazy ass bastard. A walking katamaran ng diwa when I'm awake and walking at all. So I can't be emo. I can't be anything. I can pretend to be emo. Maybe. Haha. I am pseudo-emo man who in reality is not-anything man.
What an emo post.
Well some wiggers certainly look and act and seem like Jamaicans (except for the white part). They have the walk, the music, the accent... for all practical purposes they have turned themselves Jamaican. Since emo is not a race, I should be able to turn myself into a cool emo man with less effort. But I can't. I try to be angry at the world and complain about everything. I try to have my feelings hurt. I try to feel desperation in my alone-ness. I even try to hate the meaninglessness of life. I look for the suicidal, self-hurting spark in me that would make me emo. I try, I try... but to no avail.
Why, then, can I not become emo? Is it my zest for life and my refusal to give up hope? My love for other people and my need to communicate, reach out, and be reached out to? Bah. I don't have any of that. Should I not, then, be a prime candidate for emo?
Much reflection has gone into this thought. It seems to me that the reason I can't be emo is because I don't want the things that emo people want. They want social recognition and companionship and they're angry because they don't get it. I don't really care much for either. They want to be different. I say everybody's the same nobody anyway and the context for the different-ness that they strive for is insignificant. They were raised to be happy in the meaning of life and now are angry to find that the meaning was a fairytale. I saw through the whole thing. They WANT life to have a meaning. Me, not really. The thing is... emo people care that they don't care and whether or not other people care. I don't even care if that last sentence made sense.
See, an emo person right now might go "Bloody fracker blogging around judging emo people".
I'm just a lazy ass bastard. A walking katamaran ng diwa when I'm awake and walking at all. So I can't be emo. I can't be anything. I can pretend to be emo. Maybe. Haha. I am pseudo-emo man who in reality is not-anything man.
What an emo post.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home